Sad ponies and kittens wearing bow ties. Alternate title: Ummmm……
I can’t find it. I have fucking looked everywhere. Except, you know, wherever it is hiding.
I looked under our bed. I found three socks and Megatron pretending he’s Queen of the Underbed, but that’s it. I looked in our closet. Clothes, shoes, more shoes, and a reminder that I hate purses. BUT NO INSPIRATION.
Bathroom? I checked there, too. I found a WET TOWEL ON THE FUCKING FLOOR AND A STRIPPED CARDBOARD TUBE WHERE A ROLL OF FUCKING TOILET PAPER IS SUPPOSED TO BE. But that is all.
I even looked in the refridgerator. Just an FYI, if your Inspiration ever goes missing, DON’T LOOK IN THE FRIDGE. Especially if you have ice cream in there. Trust me, Inspiration will not be hiding in the ice cream.
I looked around while I was at work the other day, as I tend to leave stuff in the drawers or in the break room. I thought I was getting close, but I kept getting interrupted by people asking me stupid things and the phone ringing with MORE people asking me stupid things. Whatever trail I was following that was sure would lead me to Inspiration vanished because ADD and stupid people like to ruin my day.
Feeling hopeless I resorted to asking Google where I could possibly find Inspiration. Google did not help, but showed me horrible news, adorable baby animals and a picture of a bloated Snooki making a duck face while holding her giant tic of a stomach. I almost stopped my quest to stab my eyeballs with a pen, but thankfully was able to resist.
I even tried to pick up the guitar and play for a while, thinking Inspiration would come in for a listen. Then I remembered that I can’t play the guitar. So I stopped.
I am getting worried. What if she never comes back? What if she’s gone forever and I’m forced to shuffle through the rest of my days with no Inspiration to liven my thoughts and feelings? That seems like a sad, lonely existence indeed. I’m scared.
Where, dear readers, could she be?