Weirder than midget porn. More metal than your mom.

Cheaper Than A Shrink… a place where you can buy stuff. Cool stuff.

I came across this site and wanted to share it with you blog reading folk:

If you’re looking for unique shit to buy for someone else or for your own collection of random items, they have something for everyone:

For Guys:
The beer can ammo pack

It’s a well-known fact that DUDES LOVE BEER. Except the ones that don’t. But those guys are a myth, like leprechauns and honest politicians.
Why not give the alcoholic man in your life an awesome vest that conveniently holds a twelve pack across his chest? Or hell, get one for yourself so next time you host a party and the dickhead from work that you were obligated to invite asks you for a beer, you can grab one, rip the tab off with your teeth, and throw it in his face and beer explodes EVERYWHERE and everyone laughs and laughs because they’re drunk and they all hate that asshole, too. He won’t laugh though. He’ll have a bloody nose and probably leave. Then on Monday, he’ll corner you in the break room and point to his nose and be all like, “Why?” and you’ll be all, “because BEER CAN AMMO PACK, that’s why”, and he’ll understand. Unless he’s a leprechaun. Or running for office.

For pregnant women:
Okay, they don’t really have much for pregnant woman except pickle flavored toothpaste, and, you know, its cliché for pregnant women to like pickles. Just don’t eat the shit right out of the tube, Ms. Preggers, because that’s fucking gross. At least put it on a cracker or a sandwich or something.

For criminals that are tired of the ski mask look:

The Beard Hat

Ski masks are SOOOOooo 1980’s. Beards are in, you hard ass, B&E motherfucker. Just add sunglasses to complete the look.

*Available in blonde, brown, black, and ginger beards.

Speaking of grenades:

Show people how much of a fuck you don’t give by taking a big swig from this mug while they whine at you. Be sure to stare them in the eye.

For people who like to drink:
They have a breath alcohol tester that fits in your pocket or purse. That way you can compete with your pals to see who is more drunk  be sure you’re not over the limit to drive.
They also have a “flask in a bible”. For alcoholic priests ON THE GO.

Also a convenient storage case for holy water. By holy water, I mean WHISKEY.

And they have much, much more.

Have a dirty mother fucker who won’t take a shower? LURE HIM WITH BACON SOAP.
Picky ankle biters kids who won’t eat their carrots? EDIBLE VEGGIE CRAYONS (makes their poop weird colors which is also fun for you!)
Hate Obama? Show others by offering them a DISAPPOINTmint


I just like things that fly and have the word fuck on it.

Seriously, check these guys out. They’ve got some neat shit and they add more stuff regularly.

The end.

7 responses

  1. Pingback: Cerebral Milkshake Show Us Some Love |

  2. Gotta love your way with words. Thanks for noticing a brilliant website and doing something about it.

    July 5, 2012 at 4:16 pm

  3. Finally, a place where I can actually find stuff to buy The Hubby for various occasions that he usually gets a lame ass shirt for. The beer can ammo pack is a must have item.

    July 9, 2012 at 8:13 pm

  4. Looks like fun stuff! Thanks for the link!

    July 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

  5. Where is the beard hat from. I need that in my life?

    July 22, 2012 at 8:01 am

  6. I want the Flying Fuck Helicopter SO bad!! Just so I can say I give a flying fuck.. Because most of the time, I just do not. It’s like it was made for me in mind! I should get one for free!
    Also, a beard hat. yes, I am a girl, but I’m a girl who likes girls so that just screams beard hat!!

    August 9, 2012 at 8:23 am

  7. Pingback: King Carl For Life « Cerebral Milkshake

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